Day 5- high angle

These are my AWESOME students working hard on their Martin Luther King Jr. Day assignments-- write and illustrate your dream. :)

struggling

It's hard to not be scared when an unknown future seems to be headed your way. WAIT? Isn't our future always unknown? Okay bad way to explain it--- how about instability--- wait... that's always there too, we just don't always worry about it.... okay let's try this again... I don't know if I'll have a contract AGAIN next year... this just makes my stomach hurt. I am a planner and I feel like in the last 2 years, we have just gotten our feet back on the ground debt wise and it just feels like the rug is about to be pulled out from under us... AGAIN! I am trying to move on from being so nervous about it but I'm just not there yet.  I'm trying not to be bitter at the decisions made by the 'powers that be' in our district and at the state level that could have drastic consequences for me... but not for them... yup makes me a little bit bitter and angry on a regular basis. Some days I wish I was 'tough enough' to tell people off because for a split second I think it would make me feel better. Then I realize that while I might feel better for a moment, it would hurt their feelings and in turn, my feelings would be hurt for causing another person pain. I just don't know how to be mean and then not care about it. My prayer at this point is that I'm given another contract which will give us a teeny bit of stability for one more year- won't know anything until May 15th when the deadline is to give us contracts or RIF notices... please help me to pray for the best decisions to be made for our family, our school district and at the state level regarding the education of our children.

Please pray that I can accept my future, whatever it may bring. Struggling with this one.

busy busy busy

How time flies!

Often times this blog gets forgotten, not because I don't enjoy writing on it but life just gets in the way. So my excuses for not writing the last...almost two months... full time job, full time Mommy and partner, and full time procrastinator. :)

Let's see... what has happened lately...

Kyleigh's soccer team won their championship game AND even more exciting-- Kyleigh got up the confidence to get after the ball and kicked it several times! This is big for her and it was so fun to watch her growth. She's also a FIRST grader! Oh my gosh!

Dax is... well Dax is just growing up so fast it's crazy to me. He'll be 3 in a week. That almost makes me want to cry because he is my BABY and may be my only baby. I must say though- our Dax is awfully fun to be around. He is so silly and is constantly saying new hilarious things--- he is also quite the little mimic and will repeat EVERYTHING! He is so sensitive too. He gets so upset anytime Mommy is hurt or even just says 'ow' and will say "Mommy, I save you!" He is definitely a Mommy's boy but does idolize his Dad too!

Dustin and I are just plugging away at work, being parents and throwing fun in there when we can. :)

We had two mudbog weekends in a row which resulted in Dustin being so tired he got sick for several days. We survived though and loved being able to end the season on a high note.


I am constantly reminded, it feels like, this fall as to how blessed we are to have good health and lots of love in our home. It's crazy how quickly things can change and serves to remind us to be grateful for every day.

Hopefully as things slow down a bit I'll be better about updating the blog.... hopefully... :) I tried doing a 10 on 10 but ended up only taking 4 pictures because I just plain forgot! Ha! Maybe November will be better...

EMPLOYED!!

On Monday, August 27th I started the day in the dumps. I was bummed. I hadn't gotten my call back and all the other teachers were headed into training for the first day of school. My attitude pretty much sucked.

I had an email in my inbox from one of my favorite families, hoping I was back for the year. I spent probably 20-30 minutes touching base with the Mom on the phone and trying not to cry! People just don't fully understand- these families become part of my family and not being able to work with them was so hard.

Another RIFed teacher and I were going to help with training for a few minutes and I headed out of my temporary office to see when we were supposed to head to the training. My principal was headed down the hallway toward me (with the other teacher just behind him) and held out his hand to me--- I thought-- "well that's nice, he's going to walk us down the hallway to the meeting and probably say something nice like..." at about this point in my thought process he walked ahead of me two steps into his office turned around, faced me, put his hand out for me to shake and said "hi, I'm the principal of CVA and I'd like to offer you a teaching position"

I laughed, I cried of a second, and was THOROUGHLY overwhelmed! Talk about surprised! Oh my gosh!  think I said 'thank you' about 10 times.

That became the whirlwind of my week. I immediately went to text Dustin (who, since he was quite confident everything would be okay, replied back with 'I told ya') and then RAN to find my bestest friend and sister- Leah. I really didn't mean to but I may have about taken her out by LEAPING into her arms! She and I have had a lot of heart to hearts about the frustration and uncertainty of not having a position. I was so excited to share my news-- she, of course, since she works in enrollment, already knew about the position. Stinker.

So this week I have gone from no teaching position to 90 students! Yahoo!!! AND BEST PART EVER two of my friends were called back right on my heels. :D

Such a week. I've been exhausted every day, most nights I can't remember actually going to bed!

As I posted on facebook: I am thankful, grateful and relieved- I GOT MY JOB BACK!!!!

In call back order: #1- ME, #2- Mandie, and #3 Ruthanna!

Love these girls!!

finding some peace

So it seems as though I will be joining the ranks of the unemployed at least temporarily. While I haven't officially gotten a RIF notice, We know that the district is going to keep 12 teaching positions--- I'm #13 in seniority... you do the math. Being #13 though also means that I should be the first teacher called back. It's supposed to be a call back by seniority.

I titled this blog, finding some peace, because I've been trying to do that. I've found peace in the idea that I'll get to be a stay at home Mom to Dax- HELLO I've always wanted to be a stay at home Mom. I find peace in knowing that for at least a year we will be 'okay' financially- my unemployment will be roughly what I take home after taxes/health insurance/ and other with-holdings currently. I've found peace that I will be able to be a substitute teacher again- loved that before I got this job. I find peace in this may be a great opportunity to see what else is out there. I find peace in thinking that it might be fun to write blog posts about how a Stay at home/substitute teacher keeps busy. I find peace in finally having my own classroom...maybe.

For me it's kind of odd to find peace in this because I usually would be a basket case at something happening that is outside of my control. In the past I would have already dropped 10 pounds from being sick with anxiety. So far that hasn't happened. For me it's kind of weird to have 'normal' feelings and basically let go of that which I can't control. I think it has helped me to figure out which school districts I would be willing to drive to for a job-- it's pretty far reaching. If this does nothing else it is reaffirming the fact that when I do feel anxious I need to find the things I can control and hold on to them. To do what I can to help the situation but to also not panic over the things I cannot control. This is big for me.