It's hard to not be scared when an unknown future seems to be headed your way. WAIT? Isn't our future always unknown? Okay bad way to explain it--- how about instability--- wait... that's always there too, we just don't always worry about it.... okay let's try this again... I don't know if I'll have a contract AGAIN next year... this just makes my stomach hurt. I am a planner and I feel like in the last 2 years, we have just gotten our feet back on the ground debt wise and it just feels like the rug is about to be pulled out from under us... AGAIN! I am trying to move on from being so nervous about it but I'm just not there yet. I'm trying not to be bitter at the decisions made by the 'powers that be' in our district and at the state level that could have drastic consequences for me... but not for them... yup makes me a little bit bitter and angry on a regular basis. Some days I wish I was 'tough enough' to tell people off because for a split second I think it would make me feel better. Then I realize that while I might feel better for a moment, it would hurt their feelings and in turn, my feelings would be hurt for causing another person pain. I just don't know how to be mean and then not care about it. My prayer at this point is that I'm given another contract which will give us a teeny bit of stability for one more year- won't know anything until May 15th when the deadline is to give us contracts or RIF notices... please help me to pray for the best decisions to be made for our family, our school district and at the state level regarding the education of our children.
Please pray that I can accept my future, whatever it may bring. Struggling with this one.
