New Years Resolution

So to be totally honest, I think New Years resolutions are silly. We never stick to them, so why make them???

Now, that being said. I'm going to see if posting on here what I would LIKE to do in 2012 will help me stick to it. I usually keep my resolutions to myself because I know I'll only stick to it for a couple of weeks. ha! SO my New Years resolution for 2012 is..... to be more healthy.

I figure that is broad enough to hopefully make it stick for at least a couple of months. I am a very healthy person (meaning I almost never get colds or other bugs) but I can always improve---I need to eat better and exercise more.

My biggest issue with exercise is I get bored very quickly. I hate exercising in the house and since we live in the middle of a big hill it's hard to take Dax with me for walks. SO those are my excuses for not exercising... I'm going to try to get over the exercising in the house one, ha! :) My goal is to exercise for 1/2 an hour 2-3 times a week and then slowly increase the frequency. I think I can get up 1/2 an hour early a few days a week and accomplish this without the help of Mr. Dax.

For those who know me I am not very good at eating good foods like veggies. For most I can't stand their texture. I have already done a lot better with expanding my food selections but this year I want to do even more 'trying' :)

Well there, I did it, it's public... let's see if I stick to it. :)

Wishing you and yours a wonderful, blessed 2012!!

It's my favorite time of the year

Christmas is my very favorite time of the year. I love filling our house with beautiful decorations, lighted trees (we have 3) and the joyful spirit that comes with the excitement of the year. Dax is not quite to the age of knowing what is going on but he does love looking at the decorations around our house and the Christmas lights when we are out and about. He calls our big Christmas Tree 'pretty' and each morning says 'pretty, please, pretty' which means he wants me to turn the lights on. He gets so excited as soon as it is lit.

I have always loved Christmas but there is something that much more magical about it when you include your own children. Even with having Children to remind us to slow down and enjoy this time of the year-sometimes I think we lose sight though about what Christmas is really about. I believe in God and that Christmas is the celebration of Jesus' birth. I believe that the gifts we give to each other are representation of the gifts given by the Wise Men to Jesus following his birth. That being said, I often wonder about those who don't believe in Jesus. I wonder what they really believe Christmas represents. It feels so sad to think that for them Christmas may just be about the presents. I hope and pray for those people, that if nothing else they recognize that Christmas is a time to get together with family and share the love that fills this season.

Our Christmas' have always been very busy. Even before Dustin and I got together, my family was all over the place on Christmas day. Now we have 5 Christmas' in 2 days-3 on Christmas day. Ya know what though, I wouldn't have it any other way! We get to see almost all of our family in 2 days and to me, that's important. I get all excited just thinking about it! :)

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and I hope I get to see you over Winter Break.

With my bonus girl, Kyleigh, in our matching snowman hats.

My story about Santa

Last year one of my friends at work was asking us all what we were told growing up or what we tell kiddos about Santa when asked if he is real. So while standing in the hallway coming up with ideas here is what I put together from what A. I was told growing up B. What I have come up with as an adult and C. What a pulled out of my @$$ at that very moment. Ha! I hope you enjoy....

Child: Mommy Santa isn't real, is he?

Mom: WHAT (shock, horror, panic) who told you that?

Child: Some kid at school.

Mom: You know that I still believe in Santa don't you?

Child: So he is real?

Mom: I believe that Santa is real. That Santa comes to us each year to bring us happiness and excitement on top of a very special present Christmas morning. I also believe that when you stop believing in Santa he stops coming. That's why I still believe in him, I'm afraid if I didn't believe he wouldn't visit us.

Child: So what about those kids that don't believe? My friend at school says that YOU put my present under the tree.

Mom: If a child doesn't believe in Santa then yes, his/her parents do put the present out from Santa BECAUSE they don't believe anymore so Santa doesn't come to their house. Wouldn't they be sad if they woke up Christmas morning and there wasn't a Santa present under the tree.

Child: Yeah, of course. So do you put the present under the tree or does Santa?

Mom: Well, do you believe in Santa?

At this point I have no idea how the rest of the story would go because... well... I haven't had to REALLY give this talk before... I am REALLY hoping that at this point Kyleigh or Dax would say 'It's okay Mom, that kid was STUPID and of course I believe in Santa still. '

I dread the day that Kyleigh and Dax stop believing in Santa. While I do believe that Christ is the true reason for the season, Santa lends a certain element of child-like excitement in all of us.

For the record, I do still believe in Santa. Santa brings booze to my parents house for all the adults that still believe. :-p

The snow has hit!

I just had to post these pictures from yesterday. I wish you could hear his giggling!



It's still snowing here! I have no idea how much we are supposed to get but it looks like I am going to have to wait to rake the rest of my leaves this spring... oh joy! ha! :)

for the love of leaves

Dax has discovered what we all know and love about fall... playing in leaves rocks! :)

He ran through them, threw them around and even tried to help rake. He is still not a big fan of being put in the middle of the pile but there is always next year.

We have three maple trees in the yard and it sure seems like they are fully loaded in leaves even though Dustin has burned 2 HUGE piles of leaves. Hopefully it doesn't snow anytime soon so we can get them all taken care of.

Hope you are all enjoying the fun that comes with the fall season.

Our little monster!

It took two of us to get Dax into his costume and we had to move from house to house in a hurry so he wouldn't melt in his costume OR get out of it. He is just so darn cute!

We had so much fun going trick or treating last night. Dustin, Dax and I went to all the great grandma's houses and grandparents. For only going to 5 houses Dax had a pretty full bag of treats AND managed to eat almost 5 suckers! He was a sticky mess by the time we got home. :-)

Happy Halloween!

My office buddies Sarah (spider) and Leah!

Family Halloween pictures to come later..... after they've been taken ha ha!

Dax is 2!

Dax became a 2 year old at 7:02 this morning! We had a wonderful, small birthday weekend for him that consisted of a dinner with our good friends Jake, Amanda and their daughter Serenna as well as us! Kyleigh and Uncle Bill were here too! Sunday was family birthday with cupcakes and ice ice cream! So much fun and Dax scored some very nice gifts that he hasn't stopped playing with yet.

It is still hard to believe that just two years ago I was in the hospital holding a beautiful new baby!

10 on 12- October

Well here it is... my 10 on 12 :-) Skipped around a little bit so it ends up being 10 pictures covering 12 hours. That works, right?

7:08am
Dax all ready to go to daycare

9:45 am
Students working hard. Love teaching day!

10:35am
My desk... YIKES!

11:37 am
The view out my office window, beautiful, right?

Noonish :-)
With my beautiful sister by heart, Leah

12:30/1:00pm ish
Holding a friend's sweet baby at office baby shower

3:42pm
What I need to remember some days so I wrote it on my board

4:45 pm
Dax got to play with Uncle Bill for a little bit

6:30pm
Mmm Potato Chowder for Dinner!!

7:15pm

Dax needed a serious bath after the chowder

Hopefully next month I can get my act together and take pictures each hour in a row on the correct day :-)

stay tuned...

WELL I already missed it... my 10 on 10 post! Darn it! Stay tuned for a 12 on 12 post :-)

Day 10!

Well this is kind of the new me... ha! It's my natural hair color but definitely a change from the 'norm' lately. I'm always a little worried about going back to bangs... why? Umm I'm a little OCD when it comes to my bangs.

Day 9- 2 Songs

1. I Found Love (When I Found You) --- this is mine and Dustin's song. I still remember being in his little house the first time played it for me. I remember texting him the lines of the song back and forth many different times. I just love that man so very much!

2. Amazing Grace --- I cry every time I sing this no matter where I am

Day 8- 3 Films

Three films. Wow, it's hard to come up with three that are my favorite since I really have a lot of movies that I like but the three that I could watch over and over are:

1. Chocolat

2. Under the Tuscan Sky

3. 27 Dresses

Day 7- 4 Books

1. Anything by Mitch Albom but especially The Five People You Meet in Heaven.

2. First Days of School by Harry Wong... it's a teacher thing :-p

3. Poisonwood Bible- I read this book twice and will probably read it again

4. The Polar Express

Day 6- 5 foods

Oh this one should be easy....

1. RIGHT NOW there is a caramel in my mouth...mmmm....

2. Lefsa- it's a Norwegian flat bread similar to a tortilla but made out of potatoes. SO YUMMY fresh and hot!

3. PIZZA! Crispy crust, warm cheese and pepperoni! YUMMERS!

4. Cheesecake!

5. WAIT I'm already at the last one, what the heck... what to choose, what to choose? My grandma's fresh baked rolls... oh yes... good one! :)

Day 5- 6 Places

This one seems a little odd to me. I mean, what kind of places should I post? I'm guessing places that are significant to me or mean something to me... I mean I'm assuming it doesn't want to know the 6 places that I've lived in my life, which is good because I'm on place #7 and we haven't put down our concrete roots yet. Ha! Okay here goes nothing...

6 places:

1. Chewelah- my hometown, where I met my love and where I hope my little boy will grow up :-)

2. Monterey, California- went here several years ago with my grandma, Uncle and Cousin Megan. LOVED it there and wish we could have spent more time

3. Priest Lake, ID- been there with my love, Dustin for a weekend away and spent several days there with family. Just gorgeous and so relaxing

4. Yellowstone National Park- my favorite family road trip

5. Italy- would love to visit there sometime

6. Any place that Dustin takes me in the mud truck or the Yota... it's usually an adventure getting there, getting home and a whole lot of fun and beauty in between. :-)

Day 4- 7 Wants

Today's was hard to come up with. I think part of it is because I feel so blessed to have the life I have that to 'want' more seems almost...wrong... but after a long time spent thinking I came up with my 7. Some were much easier than others. :-)

I want...

1. A healthy, happy family surrounded in love :)

2. Dax to be successful in his life

3. to not know anyone else diagnosed with cancer...too much of this 'c' word floating around and it just makes me sick.

4. Dax and Kyleigh to have a similar brother/sister relationship that I had with my brother.

5. a white suburban with leather interior and 2nd row captains chairs, oh and with a sunroof :-p

6. to go on a trip somewhere warm with Dustin and Dax... or maybe just Dustin haha

7. to remember that I am loved when I'm having a really crappy, drowning in craziness and frustration kind of day.

'See' you tomorrow...

Day 3- 8 Fears

Day 3- 8 Fears

1. That I am not a good Mom.

2. Suddenly dying and leaving my boys.

3. Losing one of family members. Oh my heart wouldn't heal.

4. Throwing up in public. Oh man when I was pregnant I was so scared I'd have to throw up while at work. Never happened luckily.

5. Not being able to provide for Dax.

6. Being alone

7. Spiders, snakes, frogs, lizards... don't always know they are there until it's too late

8. I have an anxiety disorder so I get really worried about things that are out of the 'norm' for me. I'm not really fearful but just uneasy.

Day 2- 9 LOVES

Day 2- 9 loves

1. Dax and Dustin.... DUH!

2. My bonus kiddo, Kyleigh. Without her we wouldn't be a complete family.

3. Family picture day, I love documenting the age of our kiddos, the light in their eyes, joy in their smiles and the love we all share.

4. Mc Donald's Sweet Tea and also White Chocolate Mochas, non fat and hot please :-p oo ooo and Starbuck's Hot Caramel Apple Cider

5. FALL, I just love the crispness in the air, warm sweaters, jeans and pumpkin patch visits with friends

6. Planning! Christmas is already in the works, I know all the meals we will eat in October and Dax's bday is already in the works. :-)

7. getting my hair cut, how do you think my hair got so short a few years ago? Hair cut every 6 weeks before having Dax. Ha!

8. Old Navy Yoga Pants. Most comfortable article of clothing I have EVER owned!

9. Birthday pedicures with Leah

10 Day YOU Challenge- Day 1

I am taking it... the 10 day You Challenge... anyone else want to??

Okay Day 1... 10 Secrets...

1. My name is Becky and I am addicted to shopping online. :-p

2. I miss my classroom.

3. I sing in the car and think I sound good... but only when I'm by myself do I sound good. :-p

4. I have only held 1 grudge my whole life. I'm still holding on to it too.

5. The only time I drive the speed limit is when Dax is in the car. Otherwise I am almost always 5 over.

6. I have to talk things through to feel better about them. Several of my friends know this but because of my anxiety disorder I 'circle' subjects for a long time before letting them go.

7. I am truly terrified to have a daughter someday... so not sure we'll have another baby. If I knew I would have another little boy I would talk Dustin into having a baby.

8. When Dustin and I were neighbors in 1st grade I used to make him play Barbies and House with me.

9. I want to be a stay at home mom. (Not really sure that is a secret)

10. I regret my college years. I still to this day wish I had spent more time on campus and made more friends. I LOVED Whitworth and my experience there... just wish I'd had more of it.

Rest in Peace

One of my classmates from high school passed away this morning after a hard fought battle with stage 4 cancer. It hit me harder than I expected. I closed my office door and cried. Really cried. I avoided all those around my office for a long time not wanting to make eye contact with anyone but grateful to have to go to a meeting and face the world again. I don't quite know why I feel this deep sadness. I think it's because I don't know how I would deal with losing Dustin like Jessica lost Mike.

To say Mike Carpenter or his wife Jessica were my friends is slightly inaccurate. I grew up with Mike and we stayed more as acquaintances over the years - I wouldn't say we were close by any means. I knew who they were, they knew who I was but I don't think I've spoken to either since high school. Nevertheless, they are both very sweet people and were/are very much in love with one another. You can just see it in their pictures on Facebook. They loved each other through thick and thin. To love and be loved in return, does it get any better than that?

I find it hard to think of the words I really want to write. What I want to get off my chest. It's hard to know that someone who was the same age as you, someone who's Mom worked with your Mom and they were pregnant at the same time, to think that person is gone from this world. I just can't get my head around it. It's a lost feeling. If I feel this lost I can't imagine what his wife must be feeling or the rest of his family. It just makes no sense to me why such horrible things happen to good people...

Why is a question I think we ask so much at times like this. Why did God take Mike? Why did God do this? I have always said (stolen from Mother Theresa) that God doesn't give us more than we can handle... but I wish he wouldn't trust us so much. God must be very trusting of the Carpenter family.

I am grateful to know that Mike is without pain. I am grateful that he no longer has cancer. I am grateful that now he can be free to fish, hike, run, and do anything he wants without the burdens of this world. I am thankful to know and believe that one day he will be reunited with his family and his beautiful wife.

I stole this from Sissy's Song by Allan Jackson...and changed the she to he

He flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels

By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees

And He walks with Jesus and his loved ones waiting

And I know he's smiling saying

Don't worry 'bout me.

Remembering 9/11/01

Where were you when the world stopped turning?

On September 11th, 2001 I woke up in a horrible mood. Why? Because I had just ended a relationship with a horrible boyfriend who was verbally abusive and extremely controlling. While I should have felt great relief in this, I was actually terrified because he had also threatened to kill himself and me. Not a great thing for a senior in high school to deal with.

So that morning as I came up the stairs in a really crumby mood to head out the door to school I remember my Mom saying 'you have to see this' and pointing to the TV. I remember looking at it and thinking why do I care what is going on across the country. I remember saying "I don't care" to her and walking out the door. Boy would those words come back to haunt me. When I got to school the gravity of what was actually happening to our country was really hitting.

All of a sudden it didn't matter to me what I had gone through the last few months or the night before. It did feel like the world stopped turning on 9/11/2001.

I remember clearly watching the TV all day long. Being glued to the happenings in New York , DC and Pennsylvania. I remember crying. I remember suddenly being so worried when I remembered that one of our very close family friends now lived in PA and who's father in law was working in New York. I remember being scared, really scared because of the unknown-ness of what was to come.

If anything good came from those days following the attacks it was wanting to be that much closer and in touch with our family, friends and our country. About a week after the attack I road on the Chewelah float as one of the princesses in Odessa, Washington. It was a wonderful parade but a somber one as well. I have never been to the parade there before or since so I don't know if this is normal but there were so many boy scouts, veterans and other service men and women being honored throughout the parade. There were also so many flags and flag pins to show support for those affected by 9/11 and also to raise money to send to the many fundraisers going on throughout our country. Even us princesses waved flags throughout the entire parade instead of our hands. It felt good to pay respect to our country in a public way.

About a month after the attacks I was at a snowmobile race and someone announced over the loud speakers that we had launched our attack on terrorists. I remember hearing cheers and applause and then I remember thinking... what does that really mean though. It's not like we can do that without risking the lives of our people once again. I also remember people leaving the races because they were afraid there might be immediate retaliation.

The summer following the attacks we went to New York for a family wedding. We got to see Ground Zero in person and I remember thinking how huge it was and trying to imagine what it must have looked like before.

One of the eeriest and probably deepest felt thing we did on that trip was ride the Staten Island Ferry. One of our friends had told us that when we were halfway across to turn back and look at the New York sky line. She said in that moment try to picture what those towers must have looked like before. Then to be sitting on the ferry and think of what it would have been like to be standing in that very spot and watch a plane fly into the tower because someone was standing in that very spot on 9/11 and someone actually watched it happen. I remember the lump in my throat thinking of whomever had been in my spot just a few months prior. I also remember saying a prayer for those affected by 9/11.

Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day? Were you in the yard with your wife and children Or working on some stage in L.A.? Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke Risin' against that blue sky? Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor Or did you just sit down and cry? Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones And pray for the ones who don't know? Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble And sob for the ones left below? Did you burst out in pride for the red, white and blue And the heroes who died just doin' what they do? Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer And look at yourself and what really matters? [Chorus:] I'm just a singer of simple songs I'm not a real political man I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you the difference in Iraq and Iran But I know Jesus and I talk to God And I remember this from when I was young Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us And the greatest is love Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day? Were you teaching a class full of innocent children Or driving down some cold interstate? Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor In a crowded room did you feel alone? Did you call up your mother and tell her you loved her? Did you dust off that Bible at home? Did you open your eyes, hope it never happened Close your eyes and not go to sleep? Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages Or speak to some stranger on the street? Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow Or go out and buy you a gun? Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin' And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns? Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers Did you stand in line and give your own blood? Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family Thank God you had somebody to love? [Repeat Chorus 2x] And the greatest is love. And the greatest is love.

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day?

10 on 10-September

Ten pictures from my day...
wish I had remembered this project first thing in the morning...
missed some prime morning Dax shots, darn!

I just love the old chicken coop on our property
Had to get a shot of it :-)

Fall colors!

Can you say YUM!?
Vanilla Yogurt with Blueberry pie filling!

It was at least 90 degrees today but the kittens still curled up together to nap

Mama and Dax

Dakota sneaking in a lick

Sweet little white butterfly on my lavender

Beautiful sunflowers from my Grandma's house
sorry it's sideways, couldn't get the darn thing to turn

Mom and I were laughing because this squash was almost as big as Dax.

Carrying the freshly cut sunflowers inside

10 on 10

So I've decided that beginning on the 10th of September I am going to start posting 10 pictures from the 10th of each month and tell you what's going on in them... we'll see if I can actually do this since the 10th will be shortly after we get into the swing of school... either way I think it is a fun project. :-) I even put a reminder in my cell phone!

We have two new arrivals at our house! Two beautiful kittens! Dax is in love with them :-) They don't have any names yet and I'm starting to think I may do a naming contest with my students if we can't come up with names by the time I go back to work. Since we've only had them a few days and they are only 8 weeks old their personalities are still coming out. I'm confident we will have names soon but right now even if they had names we wouldn't know which was which because they are almost identical!

it's August but my mind is in September

Today is Dax's last day in daycare where he has been going since he was 9 months old. He has made some wonderful little friends- especially Ty- and I am so sad that he won't be going there anymore. Unfortunately we have to make a change due to dollars and cents. Can't stand the idea of paying twice as much for daycare when it is the same daycare as last year... never mind about hat... I don't need to rant on here like this.

So today since it is my last day this summer without Dax I thought I'd start getting organized for going back to school. I still have 27 more days but my mind is stuck on what September may be like since I will be in the office 5 days a week, Dax in daycare at least 3 days a week and added cost of daycare. I am SO blessed that Dustin doesn't work on Mondays and will keep Dax at home with him so he doesn't have to be in daycare everyday. They will have a wonderful time together!

Even though we have had Dax in daycare for all of last school year we are looking at added costs during the month of September due to everyday daycare and a very slight increase in the cost as we switch daycares. Because of this, I am planning out our meals for September to all be either freezer meals or crockpot meals during the week. I'm hoping to offset some of the grocery cost for September by making freezer meals now and then making super simple crockpot meals the other days. I have had a lot of fun planning this out and am so ready to get started! Just have to do a little grocery shopping and then I'll be ready to rock!

I'm excited to try some new tricks that I have learned today while cruising the net:

1. use grated fresh carrot with ground beef to bulk up the beef

2. marinate meat such as steaks and chicken in freezer bags so that as they thaw they marinate as well!

3. Disposable pans! I actually have been doing this already but it makes clean up so much easier when all you want to do is eat and then play with the kiddo.... or relax. ;-)

4. There are so many AWESOME food blogs out there!! I wish I was dedicated enough to write one about trying to become a more organized cook. :-p

HMM I thought I had learned more today but I guess a few tips isn't too bad for not even starting yet. :-) I'll let ya know how it goes.... maybe even document it, ha!

July, July, July

I FINISHED and GOT MY PROFESSIONAL CERTIFICATION APPROVED!!!!! YAHOO!!! This is a huge, gigantic weight off my shoulders. The day after I finally turned my portfolio in truly felt like the first day of summer vacation and I was already about 3 weeks in! My buddy in this, Carley, had hers turned in about a week before me which is probably what got me to actually get it done in June and not July Ha! Hopefully the two of us will do some celebrating together soon. :-)

Summer break has been slowly creaping by which I am loving. The only bad part is I'm almost halfway through which means it will suddenly start flying by- it always does. While I enjoy the people I work with I would LOVE to be a 100% stay at home mom. I love being Dax's mom and taking care of him all day long. It just feels like this is what I am REALLY supposed to be doing. The beauty of my job is that I do get to be a stay at home mom for part of the year. I am learning to enjoy every second of it. I'm also dreading going back to the office because of some changes at the state level that will impact our program. Not sure what they are exactly yet but means once again we will have some changes in store. Will make fall interesting figuring them out and getting the year rolling.

Dax is growing like a weed, of course. :-) Everyday he's doing something new, saying something new and getting into new forms of trouble, ha! He loves playing in the pool and has even tripped a couple of times going under the water and doesn't panic. He is really starting to be hilarious with everday antics. He loves to tell the cows and dogs to 'go on' but it sounds more like g-on. Oh and he also throughs in an arm motion with it that really completes it. He is also starting to really jabber and regularly will start telling a 'story' that I only recognize about half the things he's telling me. He loves to talk about Daddy, Bill and sissy. Often telling me something about them while laughing, saying 'no no' and their names. It's very funny! He LOVES being outside and throws a fit about going inside unless Daddy or Uncle Bill are around- he'll follow them anywhere. :-)

I have been semi-sucessful on the garden front all ready. :-) Corn, onions and pumpkins are all coming up in the garden, even if nothing actually comes out of the garden I'm just excited that something came up!! Next year I'm going to expand my selection with other veggies.

I think that's about it for now. I am horrible about writing posts and pretty sure they're probably boring to just about everyone besides me, ha! Hope someone is still reading this. :-p

Dax sharing a popsicle with Daddy