A Mystery

I am a planner. I have been since...hmm... well always. I like to have my ducks as much in a row as physically possible, I like to have an idea of what to expect in the future. I think this stems from having an anxiety disorder- order and planning make me just plain feel better. Chaos, flying by the seat of my pants and having no idea what to expect-- scare the crap out of me. Ha!

So imagine the whirl wind when we find out at the ultrasound...nothing! We find out there is a super cute baby in my tummy, we find out our dates are correct for expecting this little lovely but we do not find out if we are expecting a boy or a girl. I felt a little out of place, a little confused leaving the appointment. I really expected this to go as quickly as Dax's first ultrasound - first 10 seconds- Look, it's a ____.  Nope! Not to be this go around apparently.

This is so odd to me. I just can't get my head around how to plan for this baby. How to name a baby I can't say "yes, we're having a baby ___ and his/her name is ___." I will get over this, we will find two baby names and life will be just find and dandy but I just am not there yet. I haven't even brought up names up with Dustin except the occasional, "Dax thinks the baby should be Goldilocks" or "Dax and Gigi think Olive is a cute girls name." Which is both not serious and quite funny.

I did get the answer to my prayers though. I did pray that the ultrasound would show a healthy baby and it did. I remind myself of that daily. Our ultrasound this go around was "good" instead of finding an issue like Dax's 1st ultrasound did. There is something HUGE to be said for that! I am eternally grateful for that.

Here's what I've decided: We will know the baby's birthdate (or at least when we schedule it), we will know two names (or more) BUT the one true surprise will be when the doctor announces if we have a boy or a girl. That will be exciting! It will. :) Pray for me...