Dear Dax

I can hardly believe you are already 5 years old. It really does feel like just yesterday we found out you'd be joining our family. I remember being so scared and excited at the same time. The joy and love you have brought to our family is  irreplaceable. You are a gem.

This was a big year for you. You learned to ride a bike without training wheels, completed your first year of preschool, started a new school year in a new school for your second year of preschool, made new friends, you can write your name, sing the alphabet and count to 15. You had your first "big kid" birthday party, got a BB gun, a 4 wheeler and a new puppy. The biggest change for you this year is that you became a big brother.

 I thought you were the sweetest most gentle boy since you were a baby but when you became a big brother this was only confirmed more. You love Ellie, yes that's right, you love her with every fiber of your being. (just want to make that clear when you get older and she drives you crazy). You look for her all the time, you make sure we are taking care of her and you give her so many hugs and kisses. You reassure her when she cries and hold her hand  in the car to comfort her when she's scared. You love her and she loves you. It's the best.

I keep waiting and fearing the time when you don't want to snuggle with me but it hasn't happened yet. Snuggling may be one of your favorite things. Especially with Mommy and Gigi- you wish Kyleigh liked to cuddle with you more when she's around. You request to be cuddled on a daily basis and love to snuggle into bed with me at night to watch a movie. I'm sorry we haven't cuddled more since your sister has been born. I try to cuddle with you every night because I know my "side cuddles" while I feed your sister just don't quite cut it. I love you and your cuddles, soon your little sister will cuddle with you like you want her to as well.

Watching you grow and learn new things is so fun. You so enjoy showing off your new skills and will often pull something new out of your backpack and want to explain what you did and how you did it. You love singing and dancing but get embarrassed sometimes when it's not just Mom and Ellie around.We often listen to music on my phone and be silly dancing and singing. You're a great dancer.

I am so grateful to have you as my son, Dax. You made me a Mom and filled my heart with so much love. I know there will be times that we do not get a long or we don't see eye to eye but I so see myself in you. I see my tender heart in you, I see my anxiety in you and I see my need to please people in you. I hope as you grow we'll be able to have some heart to heart talks about how you don't have to please everyone, you only have to make decisions that you can hold your head high about. That it is okay if people aren't happy with you as long as you know you did the best you could.

I love you, Dax. Forever and ever, to the moon and back. No  matter what.
Mama