finding some peace

So it seems as though I will be joining the ranks of the unemployed at least temporarily. While I haven't officially gotten a RIF notice, We know that the district is going to keep 12 teaching positions--- I'm #13 in seniority... you do the math. Being #13 though also means that I should be the first teacher called back. It's supposed to be a call back by seniority.

I titled this blog, finding some peace, because I've been trying to do that. I've found peace in the idea that I'll get to be a stay at home Mom to Dax- HELLO I've always wanted to be a stay at home Mom. I find peace in knowing that for at least a year we will be 'okay' financially- my unemployment will be roughly what I take home after taxes/health insurance/ and other with-holdings currently. I've found peace that I will be able to be a substitute teacher again- loved that before I got this job. I find peace in this may be a great opportunity to see what else is out there. I find peace in thinking that it might be fun to write blog posts about how a Stay at home/substitute teacher keeps busy. I find peace in finally having my own classroom...maybe.

For me it's kind of odd to find peace in this because I usually would be a basket case at something happening that is outside of my control. In the past I would have already dropped 10 pounds from being sick with anxiety. So far that hasn't happened. For me it's kind of weird to have 'normal' feelings and basically let go of that which I can't control. I think it has helped me to figure out which school districts I would be willing to drive to for a job-- it's pretty far reaching. If this does nothing else it is reaffirming the fact that when I do feel anxious I need to find the things I can control and hold on to them. To do what I can to help the situation but to also not panic over the things I cannot control. This is big for me.